if you can't say it, BLOG it!: December 2007

if you can't say it, BLOG it!

MALAPIT na.. Magugulat ka..

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

AKO, AKO, lagi na lang AKO

Paksyet na buhay, MUKHA BA AKONG ADIK O KRIMINAL?!

Nung nasa Laoag ako, muntik na akong saksakin ng boardmate ko..
Tapos ngayon dito sa Baguio, pinagduduro ako at tinambangan ng mga gang..
At kagabi, puta, muntik na akong damputin ng mga pulis, akala nila kasama ako sa mga grupo ng mga dinukot!!

WHYYYYYY?!

Putang-inang buhay, unfairness!!

AYOKO NAAAAAAH!!! Pagod na ako!!

posted by R.A. @ 10:35 AM

I NEED TO BE ALONE..

My Dear Joanne,

One day I will disappear completely. The letters will mean nothing. The world will get tired of me. You will get tired of me. I will get tired of myself. I'm dying. But I will never get tired of you. For you there will be no endings. I will say your name over and over. Like a refrain and a prayer to no one. Then I'll be a flower. The one you'll never pick. And will endure the breathless waiting 'til boundaries disappear. With nothing to do I make new constellations. Images of you as I remember. Dancing, sitting, walking... They are stars from a different view. But still I see nothing but you, Unfurling like a flower,Swiveling like a leaf. I once watched you sleep beside me. It was dark then. But the darkness is deeper now. Tonight in my dreams I will see you. My lady clothed only in light. Like a kite I'm giving myself up to the wind. I've made friends with the sun. Confused the birds with strange and distant voyages. But it is you that ties the thread and holds me down. Like a kite I will forever hold your hand. And with the burning human longing in your hands, I surrender. I will never get tired of you. For you there will be no endings. I will say your name over and over. Joanne, Joanne... Like a refrain. My prayer to no one. You know I will never get far and there is no need for my return. Only travellers leave. I've never been a traveller for I have never left. I am lost simply. I wanted to be in a place I have never been and will never be of all destinations. I longed to be lost in the fields of your hair. Lost among your thoughts as you are already in mine. You are my will to live. My life started when I loved you, and it ended when you left me..

Yours forever still,

(ayan, pati MSKM naki'drama)

RA & Joanne

September 19, 2004-November 21,2007

FOREVER is a lie..

"Hindi kita malilimutan Hindi kita pababayaan Nakaukit magpakailanman Sa 'king palad ang 'yong pangalan Malilimutan ba ng ina Ang anak na galing sa kanya Sanggol sa kanyang sinapupunan Paano niyang matatalikdan Ngunit kahit na malimutan Ng ina ang anak niyang tangan Chorus: Hindi kita malilimutan Kailanma'y di pababayaan Hindi kita malilimutan Kailanma'y di pababayaan Hindi kita malilimutan Kailanma'y di pababayaan Malilimutan ba ng ina Ang anak na galing sa kanya Sanggol sa kanyang sinapupunan Paano niyang matatalikdan Ngunit kahit na malimutan Ng ina ang anak niyang tangan Chorus: Hindi kita malilimutan Kailanma'y di pababayaan Hindi kita malilimutan Kailanma'y di pababayaan Hindi kita malilimutan Kailanma'y di pababayaan Hindi kita malilimutan Kailanma'y di pababayaan Hindi kita malilimutan Kailanma'y di pababayaan Hindi kita malilimutan Kailanman..."

Leave SOMEONE you have the right..

But the least you can do is to tell them WHY!

Because what's even worse, what's even more painful than being abandoned, is knowing that you're not even worth an EXPLANATION... (Peter Parker)

posted by R.A. @ 9:53 AM

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

I'LL BE PLACING YOU ON HOLD..

bad trip ang araw ko kahapon, mas nabadtrip na naman ako dahil sa Ms. Perkins na yan.. putang ina niya, mawala sana lahat ng pera niya, kung hindi lang ako natatakot mawalan ng trabaho in-assess ko yung acct niya ng kung anu-anong mga fees hanngang ma-overdraft siya.. tang-ina niya, tama bang sigaw sigawan ako eh di pa niya sinasabi mga concerns niya.. eto ang transcript:

RA: thank you for holding, my name is REU, may i please have your card number?!
Ms. Perkins: I need to talk to a supervisor!!!!!! (in shouting mode)
RA: Allright then, but before i can give a supervisor to assist you, i need to pull up your acct and verify your concern..
Ms. Perkins: My concern is, I NEED TO TALK TO A SUPERVISOR!! Thank you..
RA: Im sorry but i wont be able to assist you regarding that one if you wont be able to give your acct number!
Ms. Perkins: YOU ARE NOT ASSISTING ME, i meed to talk to a supervisor (in full rage)
RA: (muted) PUTANG INA MO!! (unmute) Ma'am, i wont be able to service this call if you wont be able to give information, i need to know and verify if you have an exixting Green Dot account ok?! (in a firm voice)
Ms. Perkins: Youre not helping me, transfer me to another representative, i dont want to speak to you..
RA: im sorry but we are not allowed to transfer calls to another representative, if you want, you can give us a call back..
Ms. Perkins: NO, TRANSFER ME TO ANOTHER REPRESENTATIVE, I'VE BEEN WAITING 20 MINS IN THE AUTOMATED SYSTEM TO GET A LIVE AGENT TO ASSIST ME!!! (parang nakikita ko na tumatalsik talsik na ang laway..)
RA: I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT, however, i can not give any assistance if you wont be able to give me information regarding your acct..
Ms. PERKINS: you are such a bull, blah blah blah, stupid low headed blah blah blah, your company is a rip-off blah blah blah.. (hung up)

pagkatapos ng call na yun, after 20 minutes, tumawag ang isang Mr. SMITH.. putang -ina din siya, simbolo siya ng REVERSAL, gusto niya, lahat ng fees, mareverse, at lahat ng transaction na ginawa niya sa card niya, gusto niya ireverse din kase unauthorized daw, pakxet siya, kamusta naman ang ginagawa niya.. eto ang transcript:

(pagkatapos ng verification)
Mr. SMITH: i did not authorize that transaction. REVERSE that..
RA: Im sorry, but this amount is lareasy placed on hold, if you are not aware or you did not authoriza this transaction, please call the merchant and try to dispute this on their end. since this is already approved, we are giving the merchant 10 calendar days for this to be collected, and the best thing you can do is to reach then and try to resolve this with them ok?!
MR. SMITH: NO!!! i want that to be reversed immediately, WHY are you letting them charge that amount on my acct, you company is a SCAM!
RA: Mr. Smith, you are responsible to any transactions done on your acct, we are not approving this charge on your account if the merchant dont have this information to request for this amount ok, so if you feel that your acct is unauthorizely used, you need to report your card as compromised.
MR SMITH: youre not understanding me, i need to talk to your manager!!
RA: Mr. Smith I am committed to helping you with this concercn, please give me the chance to help you with this one, the amount is already pending, we can not reverse this one since the merchant requested already for this amount to be placed on hold, ok?! thats why im giving you the option to call the merchant and inform them to cancel this amount, but if the merchant will not collect this on the timeframe that we gave them, this whole amount will fall back on its drop off date, ok?!
Mr. SMITH: i cant wait for that fucking 10 calendar days, i need my money now or i will sue your company..
RA: Mr. Smith, you did this transaction sir, and you must be aware of this, Drop of date is a Drop off date!! Patience is a virtue (nawalan ako ng sasabihin, hahaha)
Mr. Smith: I need my money now you stupid moron!!
RA: Mr. Smith we are not tolerating profanities here, please stop from using abusive language, please be reminded also that this call is recorded, and if you continue such, i will be forced to terminate this call..
Mr. Smith: you slut, this compony is a rip-off, its my money you fucking moron!! I want a manager!!
RA: Mr Smith, may i place you on hold?!
(at ni'place ko siya on hold for 10 minutes hanggang mag hung up..)

ayan, yan ang normal kong gabi, at gabi gabi yan, hahaha!!

posted by R.A. @ 9:21 AM

Sunday, December 09, 2007

LETTERS FROM HEAVEN..

Dear Heaven,

There's so much to be said but not enough words to explain how i feel..
So much has happened and people don't know how to call us anymore..
I know we're through but it confuses me---its not how i feel..
I am left stuck and not knowing where to go..
I'm afraid to make a step coz i know i'm waiting for you to come back..

WHY does it take a minute to say Hello and forever to say goodbye?!

You know what?! I hate myself for being too nice and freindly that sometimes people would fool me around..
I hate myself for trusting easily, for always pleasing people even if it hurts inside..
I hate myself for always wearing a smile even if i feel so lonely, and for not believing in what i can do, for seeing the glass half-empty rather than half-full..

I've shed a 100 tears for you..

I have never been this mushy all my life. I regret what happened for the both of us..
I know, eventhough i search for someone like you, i know i will not find someone close enough..
Though i go around in circles looking for that someone, i always end up with you..

I don't know, im confused, this love im trying to kill is the love i want to stay..
If i could just turn the past and undo what is to be undone, i'll do it..
Those times I hurt you, im hurting too..
Our love is gone but you're still holding my heart..

You moved heaven and earth, you moved me..
I hope this pain would just fade away, it really is killing me inside..
Please bring back the life i used to have,
You stole my heart

But now, im healing, now im surviving a day without you in my thinking..
But in your dreams, you're still there, and there you'll be for quite sometime i think..
I know it's just traces of my memories, its not longing, it's not missing..
Even the sweetest dream about you, i know wont move me again..

Coz i know you are a thing of my past already..
But i know, you are forever will be a part of me,
And everywhere i am, you'll always be here..
I just cant leave everything behind,
Our memories will stay, Till i reach the sky..

(TY to bluemagnetz)

posted by R.A. @ 10:18 AM

RA & JOANNE: Forever is a LIE

di ba nasabi kong malapit na akong mag-evolve sa pagiging convenience store?!

mas mabuti na yun, para mabaling ang attention ko sa mga bagay-bagay..

mas mabuti na din yun kesa manlimos ako ng pag-ibig..

mas mabuti na din yun kesa masabi ko ang "di mu siya kailangan, kailangan ko siya.."

it wasnt me who left you, it was you who left me..

Joanne: Why do you always say you love me..

RA: because i do..

Joanne: you know how it makes me feel?! its just words, i need an action..

RA: in time, malapit naman na..

Joanne: What do you expect me to say..

RA: na makakahintay ka.. malapit naman na eh..

Joanne: i dont need your words, you know what i mean..

alam ko, nabuhay ako dati ng wala ka, at sinasabi ko sa 'yo, pipilitin kong mabuhay ule ng wala ka..

sabay tayong sumakay sa pangarap natin, pero habang nasa biyahe tayo, bakit ka bumaba?!

bakit ka sumakay sa iabng biyahe?! bakit umiba ang ruta mo?! alam mo, para akong na'hit and run sa ginawa mo.., nagkabuhol-buhol na ang mga pangarap ko dahil sa paglisan mo, nalilito na ako..

posted by R.A. @ 1:49 AM

Saturday, December 08, 2007

MAG-EEVOLVE NA AKO..

uu, malapit na akong mag-evolve, konti na lang at magiging convenience store na ako, putang-ina, magiging 24/7 na ako, kamusta naman..

at dahil baliktad na lahat, may posibilidad, bampira o mananaggal na ang next gf ko, magiging kabarkada ko ang mga akyat bahay at mga rapist, siyet..

ngayong mga araw na toh, i need to be alone.. (haha)

gusto kong mahiwalay sa mundo, biktima ako ng pait ng nakaraan..

at kung bakit ko nasabi, abangan niyo na lang ang mga susunod kong postings..

wala ako sa mood magkwento ngayon..

sa mga fans ko, salamat for staying..

posted by R.A. @ 10:41 AM

Thursday, December 06, 2007

SECRET QUESTIONS..

1.WHAT IS YOUR DISPLAY NAME ABOUT?
- nick name, bigay ng aking ex.. pakyo xa..

2. WHERE WAS YOUR DEFAULT PICTURE TAKEN?
-wala, natatakot akong maglagay ng pic ko..

3. WHAT IS YOUR MIDDLE INITIAL?
- T

4. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP STATUS?
- tigang.. uu tigang ako pero di ako uhaw..

5. HONESTLY, IF SOMEONE WERE TO TELL YOU HOW THEY FELT, WOULD YOU LISTEN?
- uu naman!

6. WHATS YOUR CURRENT MOOD?
- naawa sa sarili.. naiinis sa mga tao..

7. WHO DO YOU LOVE MOST?
- parents ko.. (cliche)

8. WHO MAKES YOU HAPPY?
- wala na ang hapiness ko sa buhay..

9. ARE YOU MUSICALLY INCLINED?
- medyo..

10.IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, AND CHANGE SOMETHING WOULD YOU?
- uu naman, madami..

11. IF YOU MUST BE AN ANIMAL FOR ONE DAY- WHAT WOULD YOU BE?
- Polar Bear!! :0 cute kasi!!

12. EVER HAD A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE?
- uu meron na... Nung na-break ang aking heart.. (Wawa naman)
- nung muntik na akong masaksak ng ka'apartment ko sa Laoag
- nung muntik na akong mapagtripan ng mga gang sa Baguio

14. WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE SONG THAT'S STUCK IN YOUR HEAD?
- wala,

16. NAME SOMEONE WITH THE SAME BIRTHDAY AS YOU?
- wala akong pakialam

17. HAVE YOU EVER SANG IN FRONT OF A LARGE AUDIENCE?
- Yes. Medyo maraming beses na..

18. WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
- eyes at boobs

19. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY ORDER FROM JOLLIBEE?
- Cofee jelly sana na ice craze kaso nagulantang na lang ako nung wala na sila nun, so N3 na lang.. Jolly spaghetti and yum..

20. HAVE YOU EVER HAD A DRUNKEN NIGHT?
- gusto ko sana.. pero i don't drink.

21. DO YOU STILL WATCH KIDDIE SHOWS?
- UU naman!! tingnan nyo profile ko, makikita nyo puro kiddie shows favorite ko..

22. DO YOU HAVE BRACES?
- gusto ko magkaroon.

23. NAME SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU TODAY?
- I wake up in teardrops that fall down like rain- hindi tumugma ang tense ng tanong at sagot.. line kasi ito sa isang song ng rascal flatts.. "these days" (go flatts!)

24. DO YOU SPEAK ANY OTHER LANGUAGE?
- nagtuon ako bisaya karon.. hehe!! tnx bisaya friends! kaintsendi ko dyutay lang nga bisaya..

25. IS THERE SOMEONE ON YOUR MIND NOW?
- Naguguluhan ako!! wag mo akong tanungin!! aaaaahhh!!

6. WHAT HURTS YOU AT THE MOMENT?
- akohang kasing-kasing

27. WHAT DO YOU WISH FOR?
- Restoration... haay..

posted by R.A. @ 9:30 AM

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

I DONT WANT THE WORLD TO SEE ME.. as of now..

"and i dont want the world to see me, coz i think that they'd understand, when everything's made to be broken, i just want you to know who i am.." (background song, ahihihi)

naalala ko ang mga punchlines ko nun: "ang mata, maraming nakikita, pero ang puso iisa lang, ikaw yun (message sent)..

ang korni korni pala..

nag work ako sa Sitel kase kukuha lang sana ako ng experience para mas madali akong makuha sa Manila, dun kase nagwowork ang p*@%^$na$* ex ko, na ang pagkakaalam ko, buhay pa hanggang ngayon kapiling ang kaibigan ko na pinaglihi kay Valentina, isa siyang manunulot, isang ahas!! ahaaaaaaaaas!! (di ako bitter, at kahit itapat mu ang ampalaya sa akin, mas mapait pa rin ang ampalaya..)

sa mga nanloko sa akin, ito tatandaan niyo, babalik ako dun sa itaas, at kapag nasa itaas na ako, duduraan ko kayo! mga P.I. kayo..

pero nasabi nga noon: "huwag mong hayaan na maging masama ka sa paningin nila, kill them with their conscience.." tama, eto ule ang gagawin ko, magpakasaya sila, mga PI talaga sila, hindi na nila ako makikita, at sinisiguro ko, pag muling nagkrus ang mga landas namin, makikita niya, mas masarap na ako ngayon, at hanggang paglalaway na lang siya dahil di na niya ako matitkman pa, at sa kaibigan ko naman na gagong un, burado na siya sa friendster ko, gago siya!!

she loved me at my best, she had me at my best, and she chose to break my heart..

di ba ikaw na ang may sabi na baka kaya tayo iniiwan ng mga mahal natin, eh dahil may mas magandang darating sa buhay natin, yung mas mamahalin tayo..

thank you for letting me go..

posted by R.A. @ 10:01 AM

About Me

Name: R.A.
Home: Philippines
About Me: i was born to make the world a better place to live in.. im the type of person who would do anything in the name of love!!(azuz) ako din yung tipo ng tao na malambing.. haha! Kontento na ako sa buhay ko ngayon, salamat sa mga taong nagbibigay ng kulay ng aking buhay.. to my friendsters, family at sa mga kaaway ko!!! salamat sa inyo.. halos madaig ko na nga ang 4 columns na Krayola sa sobrang kulay ng buhay ko eh..at sa mga nang-iwan sakin... sorry nalang kayo dahil mas lalo akong gumwapo ngayon.. hindi niyo na ako matitikman!! wawa kayo!!at sa mga present ko...just kip on hangin with me coz im gonna show you zum luv! punta naman tayo sa mga likes ko.. MY FAVORITES foods: spag, sandwiches, tortillos na black ,chicharon, sitaw, baked macaroni & pizza. cigarettes:marlboro & peace lights perfume:polo sport, calvin klein & pureplay superheroes: SPIDERMAN & X-Men anime:GTO, fruits basket, shaman king, naruto & hunterX hunter colors:black & white, red & blue and brown pastime: texting, net browsing, daydreaming.. hahaha! beverage: c2 green tea (lemon & apple flavor), no hard drinks ako.. no softdrinks din..
See my complete profile